Trivial bullshit that people should really shut up about
I have hopes that, one day, the following subjects will not immediately draw the ire of “that one guy” everyone knows.
Frankenstein’s Monster being called “Frankenstein”.
Even if it isn’t safe to assume most people know the difference between Dr. Frankenstein and his monster, I think it is safe to assume that 95% of the time, whenever someone uses the name “Frankenstein,” everyone’s on the same page of who we’re talking about, so there’s no point in being an ass about it. Dinosaur Comics has addressed this issue in the past. Really guys.
Movies/shows calling magazines “clips”.
Let’s be honest: unless you’re someone way into guns, you probably don’t know the difference between these two things. That’s fine, no one really expects you to, and for the most part they both serve the same basic function (giving the gun bullets to shoot). But if you ever decide to watch an action movie with a particularly pedantic firearms enthusiast, be prepared to hear a lot of audible groans any time someone doesn’t properly label what is going into the gun, because if you can’t trust a movie to be accurate and realistic in its terminology, who the fuck CAN you trust?
The words “ironic” and “literally” being used flexibly.
It is literally impossible to use either of these words at any point in conversation (mostly online) without someone feeling the itching need to explain, in depth, what “ironic” and “literally” TRULY, ACTUALLY, AND EXACTLY mean, and there is absolutely no circumstance that should allow any deviance from those definitions. Even Merriam-Webster accepts the flexibility of both of these words, so maybe we can stop sounding like some persnickety old men who say “cool” should only ever refer to temperature?
They’re/there/their/it’s/its/you’re/your/etc.
When people call themselves “grammar nazis,” what they usually mean is that if you’re going to use words with common homophones, you’d better be damn sure you’re using the right one, or else everything you say will forever carry the stigma of being uttered by a shit-eating moron who can’t tell the difference between a contraction and a cock in his ass. There is never an instance where someone can mix up “then” and “than,” without the reader being able to clearly discern from context what they mean, and unless we’re prepared to address every split infinitive, comma splice, fragmented sentence, and dangling participle while we have our red pen of who-gives-a-fuck uncapped, I suggest we all just keep cool.
Calling a tomato a vegetable.
Everyone on Earth has at one point referred to a tomato as a vegetable only to be corrected by someone saying “it’s actually a fruit, not a vegetable.” The rule of thumb is pretty easy: if it has seeds, it’s a fruit, and if not, it’s a vegetable. Come on, how can you NOT GET THIS? But what about cucumbers, peppers, pumpkins, etc? The truth is, being a fruit and being a vegetable are not mutually exclusive, as one is a botanical term, and the other is culinary. Scientists got a rein on fruits, but got no shits to give about what the fuck vegetables are; it’s up to chefs to contribute the shits to identifying vegetables, which mostly has to do with how it’s being used in a dish, and is pretty arbitrary. Basically, if you call a tomato either a fruit or a vegetable, you’re right. But if you try to correct someone and say it’s one or the other, you’re a shithead.
